Brand Bullshit Never Sleeps

Just when you think that if the brand babblers were to generate one more ounce of bullshit the entire fucking solar system would explode, what do they do? Exceed expectations.

Today we have a lovely clip sent to us by a dear reader which I have culled from a video called "Why Your Brand Is More Important Than Your Product."

I would have posted the entire video but my attorneys inform me that if any reader were to commit an atrocity while reading my blog I might have legal culpability.

Please watch as one of the world's most formidable brand babblers explains Steve Jobs to us:

The wonderful thing about these guys is how, though they never worked with Steve and never spent a minute discussing their birdbrain theories with him, they're all so very certain they are now his representatives here on earth.

Sadly, Steve isn't here to defend himself, but we have the next best thing. Here is Allison Johnson, VP of Worldwide Marketing at Apple from 2005 to 2011...

..the two most 'dreaded, hated' words at Apple under Steve Jobs were "branding" and "marketing.

...we understood deeply what was important about the product, what the team’s motivations were in the product, what they hoped that product would achieve, what role they wanted it to have in people’s lives

...The most important thing was people's relationship to the product. So any time we said 'brand' it was a dirty word.

In other words, she totally, utterly and directly contradicts every fucking word this doofus has to say.

My guess is that if this guy spent 30 seconds with Steve he'd find himself flying head-first through a refrigerator door.

The frightening thing is that this isn't just some run-of-the-mill meatball spouting this dreadful, cliche-ridden nonsense. This guy is global ceo of one of the world's largest ad agencies. He's a worldwide, artisanally curated meatball.

Is it any wonder the advertising industry is such a fucking disaster?